capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
