Cold hands, warm shart.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I party with great urgency now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
