Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
