i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
no, he came in my armpit
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
