She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
