there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
