the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
