Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
