2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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