who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
