i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
