my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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