Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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