just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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