i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
