jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
