Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
