it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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