It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
