There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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