My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
