I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
