She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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