3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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