found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
