He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize