Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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