Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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