Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
