we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
