And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
