Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
