The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
