how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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