I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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