haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
