im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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