I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
