so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
