Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
