my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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