how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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