I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
