why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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