Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
