I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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