You're my little dorito
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
