Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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