Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize