remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
