I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
