you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize