she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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