quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
