I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
