i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
