i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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