why didn't you poke me back
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
