This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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