You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
