R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize