perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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